sinus medicine

but my heart is actually beating like a metronome
and if this is my body agreeing with this song,
i want it to be a fleeting counterfeit imitation
is this my heart literally telling me that this is what it wants for once... and it chooses this.
i feel defeated....
trivial and trite
a confusion of colors that bleed through my skin like
i think i can see it squeezing through my forearm right now,
i'm watching
so is he
he is of no consequence because he's on paper
and doesn't know he's watching
red felt tip pen i'd imagine.
maybe it's just the fact that i can't breathe
maybe it's the contents of my stomach burning my throat, making a tempest of my insides
or maybe i really am just slowly going crazy
that's what they keep telling me
that i'm going crazy, one struggled breath at a time
or maybe it's just the fact that i can't breathe
i think i said that one twice... yup, i did. i'm going crazy i t h i n k i ' v e l o s t i t