me...rambling

my name is hannah
this seemed like a good idea
but then again, most things seem like a good idea at 4:00am
i don't really know what to do...i guess i'll just spit me onto this,
me...rambling:
i have issues, but doesn't everyone?
i'm not trying to find myself
but create myself. one day at a time.

for some reason, i feel as i've never been so lucid.
everything looks so different at 4:00 in the morning
not only around me, but also in my head
everything is illuminated and visible
like when you're in a new town
and you notice everything,
things that you later find yourself overlooking as you become accustomed to them
i wish i could always feel this way.
i feel like a snake, that has just shed it's skin
new
vulnerable
and as if i've shed something
probably some inhibition, since i need sleep

i tend to be a people pleaser, usually
& that can get my into trouble
& confuse who i am sometimes

i'm trying to learn to surrender
but it's hard, when i'd rather be in control
--i tend to morph--