like there's something out there that everyone else gets
and i missed it
i was probably late the day they told everyone
i was busy
getting good at nothing tangible
nothing worth taking note of
[oh i'm goin places right?]
and playing dress up with all the frills
that's where i was
when everyone else was learning how it works
how not to cry
how to let yourself feel
so it doesn't build up until it's too much
and you just sink into your mattress
swallowed by everything you were holding in a little box in the back
that box wasn't as much of a fail safe way to deal as was thought
that was the day that everyone learned how to wait to touch
and how to put your eggs in a couple of baskets instead of one
one that screws you over
how to make friends and not be afraid
of people
stupid baskets... mattresses, boxes, dress up, feelings
oh lordy that sounds frivolous
sometimes, why do i try.... i want pizza
guess letting myself hurt sometimes
can almost be good... i feel something now
i almost forgot what it was like
to have something sweep over you
take over your body
being out of your own control and in the control of the intangible
scary
but maybe
progress
1 comment:
oh i could weep.
so right hannah, so right.
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