soy milk and cynicism

today i woke up to chris yu jumping on me.
then he and brooke left for bike training.
i've recently moved out of the house
it's so much better now

after they left i took off my clothes,
had a cigarette,
and started listening to those stupid, hopeful, romantic, whiny
love songs.
i think all these guys are full of shit.
they act like they care,
but it's all a big facade.
they know what to say
they never really care, you only think that they do.
"hold your breath,
tonight will be the night that i fall for you,
i won't live to see another day,
because a girl like you's impossible to find..."
ha
hope she didn't hold her breath because she'd be dead by now.
sorry to be cynical,
actually i'm not sorry.
sorry i said i was sorry when i didn't mean it.
they only want you around as temporary filler
like the toothpaste you stick in the holes in the walls
i wish i didn't feel this way
i wish i was still hopeful that someday someone would sweep me off my feet
and be my prince charming
but that's not gonna happen
nope
someone prove my cynical sentiments wrong,
please
humans are incapable of true love.
we can only exhibit what we think is love
but all it really is is some long drawn out infatuation or lust
real, pure love can only come from God, so why do we even try.
i'm gonna go drink soy milk
drown myself in that blue carton, always the best option
ps don't call me sweetheart if you don't really mean it
and you don't
so don't

i might not feel this way later, today even, but for now, i'm pessimistic