please be strong

you're small 

what i have to offer is heavy 

but maybe 

you're actually, very big 

 

in her stupor

i feel like i don't want to burden you with anything 

but i come with a lot of things 

i come with heavy boots 

and i can't do this alone 

sideways

how can you pretend not to see 

someone who used to trust you so much

you looked away 

i'm not stupid, you know...

__________

tonight... i didn't

people

i've been realizing 

people aren't so bad, sometimes

aren't so scary

not like i thought

if you open yourself to being pleasant

and not acting scared and quiet 

(because then they think you're a bitch) 

they'll reciprocate 

it's nice,

frightening,

but nice. 

fuming, seething, livid, vexed

i have fury deep in my chest 

i feel it burning 

and i want to scream 

what a morning 

what a terribly disgusting morning 

cyclical

i keep hearing the same thing
from him and from her
here and there
and then i see the same thing too
and it breaks me
every time
it breaks me
and i keep it up
i think i'm kind of shattered
pick it up,
i've made a mess
please,
because when i try it hurts my fingers
and i'm out of band aids

i'm in the library

i still think of you

two minutes of your time

you were nice
i made my heart warm
i want to kiss you
(because that might change your mind)
next time i see you, i'd be great if you were mean,
it makes getting over you easier

you're a giant

to me, you are 10 feet tall

because in my world height is based on
integrity
kind-heartedness
honor
trustworthiness

yes, you are 10 feet tall

humanity

i have some friends

and they have names 

but right now, those are irrelevant 

because right now, they're so much more than just a name 

they're my hope

my laughter 

they're long talks that remind me that i'm not alone 

they're cigarettes shared in sanctuary 

they're a blessing, an assurance

they are

my faith in humanity 

kitchen utensils... dance tools

     we dance with spoons and spatulas 

forks and whisks and tongs 

we use then for their real purpose,

because we know what they're really for 

laughs and smiles and unnecessarily profane songs 

that's why they're in our kitchen 

that's why they're in our hands 

right where they belong 

with free spirited dancing 

and inhibition-less times that we spend together 

making the dumbest memories 

that are so great they'll last forever 

 

(that last line sounded really cliche, 

but cliche's have gotta come from some truth i take it)

nails scratching my throat...

that's right,

i have the sniffles 

but it's worse than that 

because i also have the aches and fever and yada yada bing 

i gots the whole deal

no cuttin corners when it comes to hannah's sickness, 

no

but for now, i have a smile 

one that may be frequently interrupted by a cough or 7

but it's there 

thank you for giving me a chance, i'm trying

it's good to be at peace with ones you love

especially when they're ones you live with as well... i think

now, to my friends on the horizon 

that are drifting away...they may be cause for sadness 

but i've done what i can there, and though it's sad i can do no more, i think

and i have what i have 

that's all i can say 

and with that, there's a bit of a smile 

to you, lets be friends

not you sir, 

but you little lady, 

you don't know it but 

your words help keep up afloat 

they sing to my heart 

and i want to be closer to you

lets be friends

yes?

i think that could be good for the both of us 

we could talk 

and have picnics 

i'll tell you about the nothing of mine and you tell me of the something of yours 

and we can play 

whoa this is gonna be good 

i can feel it 

because you make me smile 

always smiles 

you are too kind 

lets be friends

yes?

to whom it may concern... no one

quien es ella

self condemnation will get me nowhere

you came with scissors

and later left

but you'll come back 

and, i'll let you in 

yes, all the way in 

even though you come with scissors 

mistakes i know all too well

tears 

pouring out of eyes like there is an endless well somewhere, hidden where i cannot see 

pain 

every single drop falling so fast for it is weighed down with heartache, 

heartache

so strong that every drop of hers that collides with my skin makes me flinch 

i can almost physically feel it, taste it, because i can see it 

words escape me 

for, 

when i make the same mistakes as you

who am i to give advice?

i can only relate... and touch to console 

who am i to give advice?